I'm an Exterminator for Astronaut Dragons
SO this was never meant to be a blog post, but I thought it would be fun to take an informal approach and let you into my brain for a sec! :) Real talk, this is something I wrote just before falling asleep a few months ago. Enjoy. Or get confused, either works for me.
Often, when I tell people I'm a missionary it's a lot like saying I'm an exterminator.
For astronaut dragons.
It makes sense, because astronaut dragons must be dangerous. So we should want to do something about them. But there's this weird thing about astronaut dragons. They're not real.
So I'll try to relate it to things people know!
Oh you know, it's like... what if you believed that astronaut dragons were real! and they were super bad. Like real real bad. You'd want to do something about them wouldn't you?
And they're all, "yeah... makes sense....?"
And I'm like cool! So yeah that's what I do. :)
Still doesn't work.
Dangit. Now what?
And I'd LIKE to prove to them that astronaut dragons ARE a serious issue. I mean, I should be able to, considering that I went to school for 4 years studying how to properly exterminate such a yucky infestation.
But the thing is, this infestation is -- by nature -- hard to explain or "prove." So, instead astronaut dragons are more like, Idk, carbon monoxapuff gas.
Oh you've never heard of it?
Trust me, it's a thing. And if you get sick from it, you're super sick!
Don't be super sick.
Even if you can't see this gas, or smell it, or detect it naturally, it will kill you. It'll surround you and get into your lungs and your blood stream and then little by little.... well, you can see where this is going.
Astronaut dragons are like that. You can't see em like you can see my elbows.
And you can't detect them, but they'll make you super sick too. But in a worse way.
Astronaut dragons will make you live your entire life believing that you are a king when you are actually a slave. They trick you with mind games and make you see things like money and sex and individuality and fame and authenticity as EVERYTHING YOU'VE EVER WANTED. All the while, there are those astronaut dragons. Eating people alive, strangling the life out of people and making them draw water from empty wells, by feeding them poison as though it were an elixir. And consequently, as most astronaut dragons do, they will tear through your flesh with their lightning teeth and lava claws.
It feels good at first. Like at very first. Right in the beginning. Because lava and lightning are warm before they touch you and completely take you over.
And then, as soon as they grab you, it's too late. And they've figured out this way to make the pain last forever without ever ending.
And that sucks.
And it's happening.
And I'm not about that.
So I'm an exterminator.
And I'm not going to stop.
Because it's worth it for people to not be torn to shreds forever by an invisible enemy that makes them feel like they're ok for a little bit.
Nah. Rather not. I'll keep doing what I'm doing.